Your Scriptwriting Partner

“My hook is too long, but I don’t know what to delete!”

Let’s solve this common problem using a simple framework.

The 3 most common reasons your hook gets bloated:

1. You’re explaining the concept in too much detail.
2. You’re spending too long “proving your credibility”.
3. You’re overcomplicating the concept with a crazy metaphor.

No matter which you’re experiencing…

…all three can be fixed with a single framework.

(And you won’t actually need to delete anything.)

But before we can fix the hook, you need to understand...

Critical vs Beneficial Information

• “Critical” information - highly likely to convince your target audience to keep watching. The video won't make sense without it.
• “Beneficial” information - the viewer will find this interesting, but they don't need it to understand or be convinced to watch the video.

Your hook should only contain critical information.

Fixing Problem #1 - Too Much Detail

Before - with critical and beneficial information

"I'll show you the bench press strategy that'll help you increase your one rep max by 10kg per month, every month, without injuring yourself. It's all about finding the right balance between loading more weight, eating properly, and making sure you're sleeping well enough."

After - with critical information only.

"I'll show you the bench press strategy that'll help you increase your one rep max by 10kg per month, every month, without injuring yourself."

The extra information about adding weight, changing diet and improving sleep is interesting, but:

• The viewer doesn't need it to understand the video's concept.
• It doesn't alter the promise of the video (which is what hooks them)... it goes into detail about the process, which is unecessary.

Fixing Problem #2 - Proving your Credibility

This is a simple fix.

You only need to prove your credibility once during the hook.

If we imagine the same video again (helping the viewer improve their bench press), you could prove your credibility in several ways:

• That you're a gym instructor with over 20 years of experience and 500+ happy clients.
• You've competed in yearly weight lifting competitions against the fittest athletes in the world.
• You've read over 200 books on the science of weight lifting and put your findings into practice across a career spanning more than a decade.

These are all great statements that prove credibility.

But your viewer will rarely need more than one of these to be convinced to watch.

Remember - we're trying to keep our hooks as to-the-point as possible.

The first credibility statement is often critical. The second, third (etc) are barely even beneficial.

Viewers don't need your entire resumé.

Fixing Problem #3 - Overcomplicating due to Unecessary Metaphor

Simplest fix yet.

Metaphors are great for explaining more complex ideas or teaching them in a memorable way.

But they’re rarely what a viewer needs to be convinced to watch.

See how annoying this hook extract is to read (lol):

"Increasing your one rep max is just like growing a healthy plant. You have to nurture it on a consistent basis over a long period of time. And while forgetting to nourish a plant once or twice won't kill it, it will prevent it from achieving the level of growth you were expecting over the next 12 months."

The metaphor is not critical to understanding the video's concept, or convincing me to watch.

In 99% of cases, you should save your metaphor for later.

So if we don't cut beneficial information out... where does it go?

Here’s the good news:

You don’t have to delete it. Most beneficial information you cut from your hook is perfect as a "setup" for your main video segments.

In the examples from this article:

• Extra detail, like alluding to the importance of multiple factors in increasing your one rep max, can be used during the setup for segment 1:

"Now, lifting heavier weights is actually the by-product of three incredibly important factors. So let's talk about how to optimize the first... sleep."

• Additional credibility statements can be added to a later segment to elevate a particular story, or to add credibility to a specific claim.

"So now you know how to optimize your sleep, let's talk about the second factor... diet. Starting with a lesson I learned when training for the world championships."

• Metaphors can usually be introduced during the setup for segment 1, rather than in the hook:

[Note from George - I don't know enough about sports science to write a clever metaphor about how growing a plant is similar to the science behind building muscle. You'll have to ask ChatGPT for that one.]

Remember - if the information is "critical" to understand the video's concept or to convince the viewer to watch, that stays in the hook

If the information is merely "beneficial", turn it into a segment setup.

That's all for this week! Any questions, just let me know :)

Speak soon,
George 👋

A video without stakes is a retention disaster.

But it's not always easy to figure out what your stakes are.

You don't wanna seem fake - adding something random and scary just to clickbait your audience into watching longer:

• "You need to watch this video or your business will maybe, probably, DEFINITELY collapse by next week!!"
• "And stick around to the end to learn how to make $10m per month running 79 faceless YouTube channels or you'll be miserable like I am. I mean was."
• "If you stop watching this video, I've taken your family and I will force them to scroll through Twitter for half an hour."

We don't want to invent awful-sounding scenarios like these... we want to get to the heart of what your audience really cares about so they keep watching.

Introducing: StakeBake

No, not the delicious British snack available from Greggs...

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"StakeBake" is my new, free GPT that'll take your video's title and suggest:

• What the stakes should be.
• How to make them more effective.
• Alternate title ideas that convey the stakes more strongly.

(And by the way, this GPT is trained on my entire 36,000 word scriptwriting course.)

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It helps you... "bake" stakes into your script 👀

First up - let's get a proven title

These days, 1of10.com makes this a tonne easier.

Because it's synced up with my channel, I have a list of ideas waiting for me when I log in:

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If I want to double down, I can use their AI to generate a bunch more ideas, too:

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Otherwise, you can spend time scrolling through your YouTube homepage to see which titles jump out.

Save them to a playlist and use them as inspiration for your channel.

You'll save so much time generating these ideas with 1of10 though, so feel free to use my affiliate link.

Now, let's find the stakes!

Once I have a title, I can feed it directly into StakeBake:

Let's go with this title:

"My Blueprint for Mastering YouTube Scriptwriting"

Assuming I haven't thought of my stakes yet, the GPT will automatically suggest them:

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This is literally a cheat code to help figure out what will make your viewers watch longer.

Or, if you do have some stakes in mind, it'll tell you how to make them even more compelling!

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It'll even provide some alternate title ideas based on those stakes:

That's all you need.

Now you have your stakes, you have your focus.

Include them in the hook, and your audience will be way more invested in your video.

To get access to StakeBake, click here:

Get StakeBake (free custom GPT)

That's all for this week.

If you have feedback on StakeBake, just let me know! I'd love to keep improving it.

Speak soon,
George 👋

A lot of my readers ask questions like:

• How long does it take to write a script?
• Which scripting format works best?
• What do YOU do in a writing session?

So I'm gonna show you a script in progress.

I've written scripts for multi-million subscriber YouTubers like Ali Abdaal and Mike Shake, and recently had the privilege of working with Colin and Samir too.

That being said... here's what I actually achieved during a 100 minute scriptwriting session with my community members:

(20 min) - Packaging Brainstorm

First, I brainstormed a bunch of title ideas:

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Next, I jumped over to 1of10 for my packaging inspiration.

When I searched "YouTube scriptwriting", it was nice to see the first outlier result was one of my own 👀

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I also spotted this tasty looking outlier that was absolutely huge for a small channel (my scriptwriting channel is still tiny as well).

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Next, I sketched my own packaging to make sure there was a "clickable" angle for this video:

(10 min) - Bullet Point Brainstorm

Every script starts like this.

It's basically a free-for-all where I try to let my imagination run wild:

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Once I've brainstormed the content, it's time to start scripting.

Here's why I'm obsessed with table-format scripts:

(70 min) - Scripting

Rather than staring at a blank page, a table-format script lets me plug my bullet points into a pre-established structure.

That means I can quickly see where there are gaps in the script, and where I need to spend a bit more time thinking about the content.

When I'm plugging my bullet points in, I do payoffs first:

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...then setups:

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But before filling in the tension section, I go back to the hook.

After all, now I know all my setups and payoffs, it's way easier to distill the video's value in the hook:

And by the way... I don't need to nail the hook yet.

My priority is making continuous progress, rather than getting hung up on a single task for too long.

With the hook drafted, I go back to the body of the script and start expanding the tension segments to link all my setups to my payoffs:

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In this session, I:

• Ideated the packaging (made easier with 1of10).
• Brainstormed the script contents.
• Transferred my brainstorm into a pre-structured script (setup, tension, payoff).
• Drafted the hook.

Next time, I will:

• Re-write the hook.
• Re-write all setups and payoffs word-for-word.
• Write/expand all tension sections.
• Write my end-screen CTA.

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In my experience, spending 2-3 sessions on a single script is ideal.

It gives your brain time to keep ruminating on the ideas in the meantime.

That's all for this week.

Any questions, just let me know!

George 👋