If your hook contains this, it's a problem

Hey!

I run a community of 150+ scriptwriting-focused YouTubers, and it should come as no surprise:

The thing we spend the most time workshopping is hooks.

I’ve been so impressed by the quality of feedback my students offer each other.

So, I’ve collated (and anonymised) some hooks my students have shared, and the feedback we’ve offered to help improve them.

These are the 4 most common hook-writing problems I see every month.

Problem #1 - Specificity:

The last thing we want is an ultra-general hook that doesn’t give the viewer clarity about how you’re going to tackle their problem.

So always be precise when you’re outlining the video’s structure to make it feel more digestible.

Before:

"I've uncovered a few key insights that will help you lose body fat."

After:

I've uncovered five simple, science-backed strategies that will help you lose body fat.

“A few key insights” might sound ok at first.

But the community raised concerns that this phrase was too vague to be engaging.

Instead, be specific about the structure (”five”) and emphasise why the audience should care (”science-backed strategy”).

Problem #2 - Stakes:

The big question:

What is at stake in your video? What does your audience (or the character in the video) stand to lose?

Playing on these emotions is critical to keep viewers watching.

In the community, we’ve noticed a tendency to imply the negative implications of not doing X, Y or Z, without calling out the target audience's fears directly.

Before:

You definitely don't want to mess this cake up, so pay close attention to every step.

After:

Until you learn to follow these steps, your cake will taste dry and bland, or worse - it’ll just collapse completely.

Make it easy for your viewer to picture what’s at cake.

(Ok, I’ll leave.)

But of course, it's only worth perfecting your hook if the idea itself is clickable...

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Problem #3 - Relevance:

It goes without saying - when writing a hook, we have a matter of seconds to entice the audience to keep watching.

So always ask yourself:

Does every sentence need to be there? Is it obvious why I mentioned [X]?

Here’s an example where a couple of sentences felt a bit out of place:

Before:

I recently listened to a podcast with [figure of authority] - she wrote [impressive book].

​

She has spent years speaking on how to build and maintain powerful professional relationships.

​

My goal for the next 3 months is to build stronger professional relationships here is how I’m going to do it.

After:

[Show clip of [figure of authority] offering a nugget of wisdom - enough to pique curiosity.]

​

This is [figure of authority] - she wrote [impressive book].

​

Her business does over $10,000,000 in revenue each year, which she attributes to the strength of her network.

​

So my plan is simple…

​

Over the next 90 days, I'm going to follow [figure of authority]’s advice to strengthen and expand my network - and I’ll reveal whether this actually generates additional revenue for my business.”

So what changed here?

Well, one of my community members gave this sage advice:

“Don’t add details unless it’s clear why they’re necessary.”

Before, it wasn’t obvious why the hook began by referencing that particular figure of authority.

Yes, they were related to the topic.

But you could just as easily have started the hook without the first two sentences and it would have made no difference.

In the rewrite, we circle back to that figure of authority at the end of the hook, which makes it clear that her specific advice will play an integral role in the video.

Problem #4 - Proof:

Promising a solution to a particular problem?

You’ve got to ask yourself why should the audience listen to you specifically.

(Especially if you’re competing in a saturated niche.)

But how do you do this if you’re worried your experience doesn’t sound impressive enough?

For example, one of my community members is a fantastic music tutor, but because he only likes to work with a limited number of students at once, he was concerned that saying “I’ve coached [X] students…” would sound a bit lame.

So let’s workshop some alternatives if you’re in a similar position:

Before:

“I’ve coached more than 50 pianists…”

After:

• “I’ve been a professional pianist for 30 years…”
• “I’ve composed more than 500 songs on the piano…”
• “Since starting this channel I've helped hundreds of songwriters level up their piano playing…”
• I’ve played some of the world's biggest concert halls in my career…”
• “I’m not a famous pianist, but my music has been streamed more than one million times…”

You can always get creative with how you “prove” your expertise during the hook.

That's all for this week!

Don't forget to use "GEORGE50" if you decide to join me and thousands of fellow YouTubers using 1of10!

And let me know... which problems have you noticed in your hooks (and how did you fix them?)

Speak soon,
George 👋

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