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Chess Nuke
@chessnuke
30k+ Subcribers
Create more engaging videos with simple, actionable scriptwriting tips.
Join 2,200+ scriptwriting nerds reading “Write On Time”. Insights from writing for multi-million subscriber YouTubers sent to your inbox every Friday.
How to write a killer CTA in every YouTube video
Hey!
Writing scripts is super frustrating.
In fact, writing anything usually a ballache.
I’m not sure why anyone would choose it as a career 😜
Especially when it comes to the hook or the CTA, every word seems critical.
And it is.
But if there is no “right” way to write anything, where do you even begin?
Well… it all starts with acceptance.
Specifically, acknowledging and celebrating the fact that your first draft should suck.
Because what matters is how you adapt the rubbish on your second, third and fourth drafts.
So this week I wanna show you the evolution of a CTA I re-wrote 4 times this week.
Primarily, I hope this helps you write a better CTA.
(But, secretly, I hope this gives you permission to suck on your first try.)
1/ The Setup
This scriptwriting breakdown draws on two threads I wrote earlier this year.
You’ll still understand the rest of this email without them, but feel free to dig in for additional context.
1/ Original thread on writing a compelling CTA that gets people to watch your next video:
2/ Original thread on the writing process I use that stops me feeling burned out but still delivers strong results:
2/ Purpose
I’m a huge advocate of highlighting the purpose of certain parts of your script (e.g. payoffs) because it makes it easier to see whether you need to adapt your script’s structure.
These are the essential components I use in every end-of-video CTA.
In this breakdown, I’ve highlighted things in the following way:
🔴 – LINK to current video topic.
🟡 – CURIOSITY GAP created.
🟢 – PROMISE/CTA delivered.
Let’s get into it…
3/ The Script
The main aim of this CTA is to get as many viewers as possible to watch the next video.
Draft 1 – The Bare Bones.
We’ve got the LINK back to the current topic. Cool.
But the rest isn’t great.
The CURIOSITY GAP is surface-level, with only passing reference to “you could make more money”. Ideally, we want to be speaking to the deeper wants and desires of our audience. Why do they want to make more money? What does that unlock for their lives?
As for the CTA/PROMISE… it seems I only got as far as the CTA and gave up.
All in all, a classic first draft!
Draft 2 – Precision.
The LINK was fine before, but is now even more specific.
The CURIOSITY GAP is too. It now specifically mentions the thing that’s holding you back from monetising your channel are other “huge myths”.
There’s now a specific PROMISE of transformation too, e.g. what they’ll get by watching the next video. In this case, they’ll learn what the myths are, thereby helping them make more money.
But, although the promise is more specific than before, it’s too surface level…
Draft 3 – Overcorrection.
The LINK is re-written for personal taste.
But the CURIOSITY GAP is now way too bloated.
Just look at how wordy the middle is. I’m taking three sentences to say what I could have said in 1-2.
Somehow, the PROMISE got less specific as I tried to expand it. From “unlock even more potential revenue streams” to “make more money”.
Overcorrecting is such an easy tendency when you’re feeling like you haven’t hit the nail on the head. It can actually be useful though.
It’s better to have too much than not enough, as long as you know how to tidy it up…
Draft 4 – Success.
I made the LINK more succinct to allow more room for the…
CURIOSITY GAP, which now uses more direct language and piques further interest by suggesting these other myths are super common.
The PROMISE is super specific too, speaking to a deeper need beyond “more money”. Now, we’re promising to help them make more money without sacrificing work-life balance, which is a common objection.
Fourth time’s the charm!
4/ Takeaway
Key features of a strong CTA:
- Succinct but clear LINK back to the topic of the current video.
- CURIOSITY GAP that directly addresses the viewer and instils a sense of fear/FOMO.
- Highly specific PROMISE that goes beyond surface level claims and taps into a deeper need your audience has.
But, remember:
You’re not trying to hit this on your first draft.
It can be bloated, inaccurate, wordy, unfunny, boring, stupid, or totally incomplete when you start out.
In fact, I’d encourage you to let it be all of these things.
It’s much easier to adapt a pile of crap than a blank page 😉
That’s all for now! Back to more retention reviews next week.
Let me know your thoughts on this, and how you approach the most important parts of your script!
Speak soon,
George 👋
This writing technique stops viewers skipping ahead
Hey!
In case you missed it, I recorded a 1hr+ Q&A last week, answering over 25 questions about scriptwriting, freelancing and YouTube!
You can still check it out here 🙂
Alrighty, onto the retention reviews.
Video #1
Title: The Detroit Lions SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED To Do This…
Creator: Football Logic
Average % viewed: 51.4%
In this review:
How to re-introduce tension when a video’s starting to go flat.
Video #2
Title: He Built an Unstoppable Truck to Survive Anywhere
Creator: Mobile Dwellings
Average % viewed: 48.1%
In this review:
How to use music to give character to different parts of your video.
Video #3
Title: 5 simple ENERGIZER games for virtual meetings – ‘Justin Bieber’ 👅
Creator: The MAGIC SAUCE
Average % viewed: 44.4%
In this review:
The crucial thing you need to do before explaining what your video is about.
Upload alert!
Giving your payoffs too early is a guaranteed retention killer.
But it’s really easy to do – especially with videos like listicles, talking heads or anything educational.
It just feels more natual to make a point, then discuss it. The problem? The point itself is the payoff.
And if you give that first, then spend ages dissecting it, your viewers get bored.
So check out this recent video I wrote where Ed debunks a bunch of YouTube money myths… but I deliberately DON’T tell you what the myth is until the very end of each segment 👇
That’s all for now!
Speak soon,
George 👋
Answering your 25 scriptwriting questions (Q&A)
I received some fab questions in response to my last email, and today I’m gonna answer them! 🗣
Topics include:
- A tonne of scriptwriting advice.
- Setting your rates as a freelancer
- How to get into the YouTube industry.
…and much more!
Check it out below 👇
Scriptwriting Q&A (Answered!)
Me, surrendering to a barrage of excellent questions.
Upload Alert!
In my Q&A, I spoke a bit about using metaphor to make a potentially dry topic more interesting, and to actively re-engage the viewer’s brain (as they try to work out the relevance of the metaphor).
To see this in action, feel free to check out this recent Creator Booth video I wrote.
It’s about how YouTubers can increase their revenue with better marketing, but it features a surprising reference to the X-Men 🤨
That’s all for now!
As you read this, I’m in Corfu, so replies may be slower this week!
(Still missing you dearly, of course.)
Speak soon,
George 👋
Do this before your “Grand Payoff”
Scriptwriting tip of the week
Somehow, I always end up procrastinating writing the hook.
It just feels too important and I get scared 😅
But, if you can break it down and think of it in simple terms, it’s way easier to write something that resonates with your audience…
How do you approach writing your intro? Hit reply and let me know! ✍️
Here are this week’s retention reviews…
Video #1
Title: Is it Possible to Escape this Nether Roof Trap?
Creator: Cristalit
Average % viewed: 39.3%
In this review:
How to make your audience resonate emotionally with your content.
Make your next edit less painful 😫
Wanna save a ton of time on the boring, repetitive tasks that pop up in every single edit?
Cutting the “ums” and “ahs” is one thing, but what about trawling through your 17 bad takes before you find “the one”?
BORED.
Gling is a nifty little tool made specifically for YouTubers that does all that for you.
(Yes, it even detects and removes bad takes 😱)
It’s literally only $5 per video, but if you fancy trying it first…
Use the code “RETENTION” for a free month, on me 😏
If you’re still not sure, check out the video below to see it in action…
Video #2
Title: This AI Video Editing Tool Will BLOW Your MIND
Creator: Rafael Ludwig
Average % viewed: 29.4%
In this review:
The problem that befalls most creators who speak “off the cuff”.
Video #3
Title: I Went Viral on TikTok Using ONLY AI
Creator: Taylor Moyle
Average % viewed: 34.3%
In this review:
The critical thing that needs to happen right before your “big payoff”.
That’s all for now! I’m going away for a week, so I may be a little slow at replying (but I shall miss you dearly, of course!).
Speak soon,
George 👋
The hook writing technique most creators ignore
Scriptwriting tip
Most creators start out just trying to get their content out on time, and that’s ok.
But if you wanna up your game and start engaging your audience more, I truly believe 99% of creators should script word-for-word.
What do you think about this? Hit reply and let me know ✍️
Video #1
Title: People Who Faked Their Death (And Got Caught)
Creator: Skylerbuns
Average % viewed: 59.9%
In this review:
An effective technique to use in your hook which not many people try.
(Plus, how I re-wrote this video’s hook to make it flow better.)
Video #2
Title: A Productive Day in the life of a Freelance Software Engineer in Barcelona
Creator: Lamine Mbacke
Average % viewed: 33.0%
In this review:
A totally different format which could be a fun challenge for you to try in your next video
(Plus, how this video could have pulled it off better.)
Video #3
Title: The SNEAKY body butter trick big companies use 🤫
Creator: Humblebee & Me
Average % viewed: 28.3%
In this review:
The essential thing you’re probably not thinking about when recording content that massively impacts what your audience thinks of you.
That’s all for now!
Speak soon,
George 👋
How to give "context" in a YouTube script
Hey! Let's dive in...
Video #1
Title: I Have 100 Days To Beat Explosive Primal Fear
Creator: NaturalCauzes
Average % viewed: 28.2%
What worked
(1/2) Hook
Breaks down his goal during the hook.
Not only does this make the idea more digestible (step 1, step 2, etc), but it also shows us clear payoffs to look forward to ahead of the finale.
(2/2) Context
After explaining the concept and getting into the action fairly quickly, the creator then zooms out a little to explain a little more context about the game (and the challenges to come).
Taking a moment like this to get everyone on the same page helps the audience feel “in the loop”.
Think of it like teaching someone a board game.
You might start by giving them a brief overview of what’s going to happen.
Then it’s easiest to just start playing a bit so the words you’re saying actually mean something in context.
But NOW you can go back to explaining things again, only this time with a little more nuance and depth, because the person you’re talking to has a greater understanding than during your first explanation, having seen the game it in action.
What to improve
(1/2) Pattern Interrupt
Watch the first minute after the hook, and see if you can spot what’s missing.
*George waits*
Did you feel that?
After the initial tension built by the hook, the video falls into a pattern of “and then, and then, and then”.
In fact, the first “but” doesn’t come until 1:42 (I checked the transcript 😉).
This risks making the video a little boring because there’s nothing to re-engage our brains.
This issue popped up a few times, especially during S2 (where viewers are gradually falling away).
(2/2) Payoffs
The miniboss teased in the hook doesn’t appear until 10 minutes and, when it does, it’s not the one that was pictured.
For the next five minutes, I no longer knew what we were building towards.
Then, we finally see the creature that was teased in the hook… but it’s only to tease us again about its eventual appearance.
It started to feel like the BBC teasing Moriarty’s death – it ends up testing the audience’s patience.
Takeaway
Be conscious of how you set your audience’s expectations during the hook. You only have so many “fake-outs” (even if they’re accidental) before they’ll lose patience.
Video #2
Title: We Need To Talk About Envato Elements (2023 Updated)
Creator: Shaun Notcutt
Average % viewed: 32.8%
What worked
(1/2) Curiosity
Shaun speaks directly to the fears/desires of his audience during the hook. How?
By directly acknowledging the comments and questions left on a previous video.
This opens multiple curiosity gaps related exactly to the interests of his audience.
(2/2) Depth
Yes, this video is ultimately about promoting one website over the others.
But the amount of detail Shaun goes into about all three is immense. He’s spent time digging up about every stat you could want from a digital asset platform review, which avoids making it feel like a giant ad for one platform.
What to improve
(1/3) Fast cuts
The end of the first sentence is cut off. There’s also an unnatural-sounding cut at 0:16.
Your audience is looking for any reason to click away in the first and last 5% of your video. Choppy dialogue is easily on the list of reasons to go.
(2/3) Visuals
The comparison screens are pretty bland – a fully white screen with text and logos popping up. And this is on-screen for 4 uninterrupted minutes.
A more interesting way to display these stats: pick the most interesting takeaways in each category, and use B-Roll of the actual websites (or footage downloaded from those websites) while discussing them.
There’s a choice to be made here about being informative vs entertaining, but 4 minutes of seeing numbers read out on a white screen understandably loses people (see S3).
Perhaps the full comparison/breakdown could have been available in the description as a free download for anyone who wanted it.
(3/3) CTA
We find out which website is best (final payoff), but then the creator spends another minute talking about the winning choice.
To my mind, we should have understood why this one was best over the course of the video, rather than having it summarised (or new info added) at the eleventh hour.
Tied into this, we also get asked to comment, subscribe, watch the next video, and sign up to the product through an affiliate link.
Too many CTAs lead to decision fatigue, and we’re more likely to do nothing.
Takeaway
Don’t give heaps of new info after a conclusion/payoff. If it feels like you need to, I suggest going back through the video to thread those thoughts in throughout.
Video #3
Title: Quit Procrastinating with THIS 1 Technique (in 2 minutes)
Creator: Karl Avillo, MD
Average % viewed: 70.3%
What worked
(1/2) Subject Framing
Borrowing frameworks from other types of content and applying them to your niche is a great way to come up with new ideas.
Atomic Habits has oversaturated the productivity space in the last couple of years, so it’s nice to see Karl reframing the discussion in a two minute summary.
(2/2) Structure
He builds a nice new layer of curiosity into the video at the midpoint.
We learn the theory behind building habits, but then Karl implies that there’s even a way to make it easier (rather than giving us all that information out the gate).
What to improve
(1/2) Technical
Audio is out of sync from 1:10-1:30.
When you’ve been staring at your edit for hours, it’s easy to miss things like:
- Audio/video sync
- Multiple text/effects popping up out of time with each other.
- Typos
No need to explain why this isn’t good. Give yourself a day away from the edit and look over it with a clear head (whether you’re editing it, or giving feedback to your editors).
(2/2) Concept
This video is one of the lowest performing on Karl’s channel from the last 6 months, and the minor technical issues aren’t to blame – the video looks great overall.
But, despite what I said about the framing, the problem is this – distilling the key lessons from Atomic Habits has been done to death.
Of course, it’s important to take inspiration from other channels when getting started, but a creator eventually needs to lean into their own style a little more. This video is too close to 2021 Ali Abdaal content to feel exciting in 2023.
Takeaway
You can (and should) take inspiration from others, but you eventually need to lean into your style/format/angle to stand out.
That’s all for now!
Speak soon,
George 👋
This traditional storytelling technique is perfect for YouTube
Buckle up for 3 more reviews, Retentioneers…
Video #1
Title: SNEAKY MIX BUS TRICKS Pro Mixers Use To HOOK LISTENERS
Creator: Plugin Alley
Average % viewed: 56.9%
What worked
(1/2) Hook
The hook is sick (though the music drowns out the voice a little).
The creator puts himself in the audience’s shoes and precisely articulates the problems they’re facing (they’ve tried mimicing tutorials to a build mix bus, yet always find the result they never had the same energy).
Mix this with the high energy performance, plenty of B-Roll, some humour, and I’m in.
But there’s an even cooler (and more subtle) trick he uses to bring us into the “story” of the hook…
Now, you might expect this from a sound engineer, but listen to how the music is timed to exaggerate key moments in the intro (e.g. he sits back in disappointment at 0:14, and a subtle, base-y “boom” can be heard). Most creators underutilise techniques like this.
(2/2) Editing
A lot of personality comes across in the edit (see funny B-Roll example at 0:22 and silly cutaway style at 5:06).
It’s full of highly intentional Ken Burns crops, zooms, SFX, incorporation of memes, etc.
Hayden Hillier-Smith often talks about showcasing your personality through editing, and this creator does it constantly.
What to improve
(1/2) Overexplaining
The dropoff during S3 can probably be explained by a little too much dry explanation.
I love that the creator is incorporating storytelling, but after the excellent use of B-Roll and cutaways up to this point, the pacing slows too much.
Always think: what is the next payoff my audience is expecting?
In this case, it takes 70 seconds to get from introducing the point to revealing the point. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but nothing really happens to re-engage the audience during that time – it starts with an amusing meme, but then transitions into a “and then, and then, and then” story about how this mastering trick was discovered.
(2/2) CTA
Last payoff happens at 5:58, but the video goes on for another 35s.
In this case, the CTA is too wordy and spends too long summarising the current video.
For a quick recap, here’s how I write a CTA.
In this case, the “link” (the bit that relates the CTA to the current video) goes on for too long:
(“I bet your mind is blown by all the tricks you just learned that the pro’s use to make their [etc etc]”)
It comes across like a summary, rather than a CTA. Your audience are 10x more likely to click away during these final moments, so you need to open a new curiosity gap right away.
Takeaway
Always think: what is the next payoff my audience is expecting? And is it clear that we’re constantly building towards it?
Video #2
Title: Why you might fail A-Level maths – and how to avoid it!
Creator: Kevin Olding – Mathsaurus
Average % viewed: 22%
What worked
(1/1) Relaxing
Kevin’s delivery style is relaxed and, in turn, relaxing!
Opening by acknowledging that A-Level maths is difficult instantly warms me to him, and I think it’d do the same for any students watching.
The type of camera presence required by you, as a YouTuber, will obviously vary based on your niche. But this calm style works perfectly here.
What to improve
(1/3) CTA
Way too many CTAs in the first minute:
- Check out the link in the description
- Like the video
- Subscribe
- Comment below
Front-loading all this before the video’s value has been delivered is unlikely to be effective, because it doesn’t feel like we “owe” you anything yet.
It’s also overwhelming to be asked to do too many things at once, so decision fatigue makes it likely we won’t do anything at all.
(2/3) Storytelling
The story about Newton and Hook was way too tangential to the topic at hand. A cursory reference to this at the start would have built sufficient intrigue, before explaining the relevance of the quote is about “building on what’s come before”.
Currently, the core idea is explained at the start, so hearing a 150 second anecdote about Newton now becomes frustrating, because I’ve already understood the lesson Kevin needs me to take from it.
The ultimate payoff from this video is about how to avoid failing maths, but so long is spent just setting up the reasons that it’s hard in the first place, I found myself desperate to start skipping ahead.
This was a common theme across the video – we needed to get to the point faster.
(3/3) Target Audience
From the title, this video seems to be aimed squarely at students.
But anecdotes like the one in the middle seemed more appropriate for teachers.
Overall, the video lacked focus – I wasn’t sure who the ideal viewer was. Students? Teachers? Parents? Parts of the video seemed to appeal to all three.
This is where drawing up an audience avatar comes in handy – figure out who you’re talking to, what drives them, what they fear, etc. It becomes far easier to tailor your script to that audience.
Takeaway
Don’t frontload your video with CTAs because it doesn’t feel like we “owe” you anything yet. Make sure you deliver at least a bit of what the audience has clicked for before making the ask.
Video #3
Title: Twitch is Worse Than You Can Imagine
Creator: Big Craig
Average % viewed: 61.2%
What worked
(1/2) Curiosity Gaps
People like me who haven’t used Twitch for a few years will be surprised to hear:
- It’s now full of NSFW content.
- It’s used to promote gambling.
- It somehow resulted in someone’s death.
Craig deliberately contradicts viewer expectations right at the start.
(Worth noting that he also delivers on all these claims – it’s not clickbait).
(2/2) Storytelling
This storytelling method in this video is called “in medias res” and it’s fairly common on YouTube. Hook the audience with the most explosive points, then gradually join the dots to show how you got there.
After the arresting claims in the hook, we jump back to understand how Twitch started, and are shown the good things that came from it initially (community-building, people able to make a living, etc).
Then, gradually, we build towards the state of play we were shown at the start, with each issue (gambling, NSFW, fatality) first hinted at and then explained.
(Side note: music is used brilliantly to aid the storytelling too… see how the whole tone changes from 4:10 because of the music.)
What to improve
(1/1) Repetition
For the most part, the pacing is great.
But the dip during S3 coincides with a moment where a payoff is given too early, then B-Roll is used to simply repeat the point that was just made.
Specifically, Craig explains that a certain streamer was loaned $100,000, then B-Roll of the streamer revealing this info is played.
But given we already know the amount, we’re not learning anything new. The B-Roll also drags a little, with the streamer stumbling over his words a bit. So for 25ish seconds, we’re basically discussing a payoff that already happened.
Craig could have hinted at “a massive loan” the creator was given, then show the B-Roll (trimmed) which reveals the amount.
Takeaway
Classic storytelling techniques like ‘in medias res’ are just as effective on YouTube when done well. Reveal one of the most explosive points at the start, then gradually help the audience join the dots to see how we got there.
That’s all for now!
Speak soon,
George 👋
Let’s get candid about burnout :)
Hey Reader,
This week we’re getting real about some stuff! 😅
To be honest, I’ve struggled with burnout recently.
So, rather than cramming my weekly reviews in, getting stressed and doing you guys a disservice, I thought I’d speak candidly to camera instead.
I think it’s incredibly important that creators like you and I talk about this stuff, Reader. Particularly because the idea of putting consistency and “grind” ahead of wellbeing seems pretty common in this space.
So enjoy this little spiel from me, and let me know how you’re doing this week ❤️👇
My Best Advice…
In lieu of my usual reviews, here’s a compilation of my most successful threads on retention, storytelling and scriptwriting.
These tweets have had 170,000+ impressions overall, so I hope you like them!
I endlessly appreciate your patience, and wish you a wonderful Easter with family, friends, or just chilling by yourself.
Speak soon 👋
How to use music to elevate your YouTube scripts
Hey there,
Before we get started, I thought you might find this useful…
How I write a hook
I’ve been working with Ed for the last 6 months, writing material for his new channel, Creator Booth.
It finally launched this week, so I decided to break down the process I used to write the hook for this video…
I hope that gives you some insight! Alrighty, let’s get into it…
Video #1
Title: Will property prices keep falling?
Creator: Property Hub
Average % viewed: 68.5%
What worked
(1/2) Hook
One of the many lessons I’ve learned from Jake Thomas: negativity is a powerful attention-grabber.
(That sounds like an insult – but I’m not talking about his personality 😅)
This video opens with: negativity x broad appeal… because, whether you’re a homeowner or a tenant, house prices affect you.
Worrying stats are given instant crediblity with screenshots from financial reports.
And a Christopher Nolan-esque score sets the mood. I’M IN!
(2/2) CTA
This video’s CTA follows my formula from last week! (Not claiming credit of course – he made this video months ago!)
- Links back to current video (housing market is bad)
- Opens a curiosity gap (this could actually be good news for you, but only if you take advantage in the next 3-6 months)
- Delivers a CTA/Promise (click this video and I’ll tell you how to take advantage)
And… just look at that end screen CTR 😍
What to improve
(1/1) Rapid-fire jargon
This video is mostly accessible for anyone, but there’s a gradual decline during S4.
Remember, some people watching this video simply want to know:
- Whether the value of their house will go down, or…
- Whether house prices will go low enough for them to get on the ladder.
But suddenly being hit with “interest rates”, then “mortgage rates”, then “inflation”, then drawing a hypothesis from this about how this will affect the bank of England setting interest rates… it’s just a lot in 10 seconds.
While I’m still piecing this together, other stats and percentages are already flying my way. The result?
I’ve lost the plot 🤣
For as long as your viewer feels smart, you’ve got them hooked. But once they feel outside the loop… it’s hard to get them back in.
Takeaway
Your content can absolutely be aimed at non-beginners, but the target audience should be consistent.
If an otherwise beginner-friendly video suddenly goes jargon-heavy, retention will suffer.
Video #2
Title: We Played A MARIO KART KNOCKOFF!
Creator: Hulagh
Average % viewed: 43.1%
What worked
(1/1) Comedy
These two have really good chemistry and I found Hulagh’s increasing frustration hilarious, especially juxtaposed with his friend’s calm tone.
It got me thinking more broadly… why not try filming a video with a friend just to see how you vibe? Could be an interesting experiment.
What to improve
(1/2) Stakes
There’s nothing specific to keep us watching, other than seeing them race again and again.
It’s funny throughout, but nothing new is added.
The stakes need to be elevated in some way, beyond simply wondering who’s going to win.
Maybe it’s a best of 5 and the loser has a forefeit.
Or whoever wins the race gets a handicap in the next one.
Obviously, there’s no obligation to do this, but if we’re talking retention, continuous gameplay with nothing else underlying will graudally lose viewers.
(2/2) Clarity
Retention takes a bit of a dive in S2.
I felt that after 1min, we’d only seen about 10s of gameplay, and either side of that there was a little too much of the players talking over each other.
In conjunction with my first point about stakes, I basically wasn’t sure where the video was going or who I was about to spend the next 7 minutes with.
I would have liked to have been properly introduced to the additional player who pops up, and to have it made clearer what the end-goal of the video was. As it is, I felt a little outside the joke.
Takeaway
Even when a video is funny, the viewer needs to have a sense of where it’s going to stay fully engaged.
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Video #3
Title: The Tragic Downfall of Demi Lovato (What Went Wrong)
Creator: K-Jams
Average % viewed: 42.0%
What worked
(1/2) Pacing
This video is efficient in its information delivery and we don’t spend too long indulging in any one segment of Demi’s life.
But that’s not to say it’s all fast cuts and rushing. The video alternates between rapid-fire info, and slowing down to show interview clips/quotes, etc.
(2/2) Editing
B-Roll is often enhanced to amplify what’s going on in a given moment (TV static filter on news reports, etc).
This keeps the visuals varied and interesting.
What to improve
(1/2) Hook
The video opens with a little too much “telling”, rather than “showing”.
Although we see plenty of B-Roll as K-Jams lists Demi’s accolades, we rely on the voiceover to get a picture of what’s going on.
Compare this to one of Dodford’s documentaries…
The opening B-Roll is constructed in a way that gives us a vivid emotional picture, without the creator having to say a word.
This video about Donald Glover also uses another incredibly effective technique to heighten the emotion and capture our interest, that could elevate K-Jams’s content even further…
(2/2) Music
The music is currently incidental to the video… it’s there because it’s better than silence.
Most videos I review use music passively – that is, without any specific purpose.
But there’s a reason most great movies also have incredible scores. Music’s ability to heighen our emotions and reactions should never be understated, even on YouTube.
Key moments in this video could have been accentuated with a more deliberate use of music.
Takeaway
Most creators use music passively. Try using it with purpose to accentuate key moments of the video.
That’s all for this week!
Speak soon,
George 👋
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